What should parents do if their child refuses to go to school after the holidays?

“I don’t want to go to school,” - more than half of all parents hear this phrase after the long summer holidays. Closer to the start of school, on September 1, complaints of poor health or simply tears may appear. The child is desperate, the parents are stressed and irritated. In this article we will understand why a child does not want to go to school, as well as what parents should do in the first week of school.

Why does studying cause stress in a child?

Everything is simple here: during the holidays, the regime and daily routine changes. Elementary meal schedules, waking hours change, and you can spend more time with your family. And the school routine is strict and structured. The transition from one pattern to another causes real stress, which may even have external symptoms.

For example, sleep disturbances or difficulty waking up, emotional outbursts or breakdowns. Children of primary school age most often complain of anxiety due to separation from their parents and refuse to go to school. Older schoolchildren report a lack of motivation and anxiety due to communication with classmates and teachers.

All these reactions are not only psychological, but also physiological. The brain may interpret going to school after the holidays as a change in the environment. Then the systems responsible for stress are activated, anxiety and emotional sensitivity increase. It is believed that it is most difficult for first and fifth graders.

It is important for parents to understand that school refusal can be caused by stress, and not by laziness or simply an unwillingness to study. And in such a situation, the child can be helped.

How to help your child get involved in school after the holidays?

The most obvious way is to start preparing for school in advance. Experts advise starting to adjust the child’s schedule two weeks before the start of the school year - waking him up earlier, eating according to a schedule similar to the school one. This creates a predictable environment in which stress is reduced. But if there is no time left for smooth preparation, introduce it at least a few days before the start of training.

There are other ways to help make the first week of school easier.

Before school starts, talk with your child and discuss the positive aspects of the previous school year. Concentrate on the positive: what you learned, whether you made new friends. Discuss what else may await the new school year, focus on the positive. American studies have proven that focusing on positive aspects reduces anxiety at school and increases a child's self-confidence.

2. Enter a clear schedule

A clear sequence of actions helps us cope with uncertainty. And a well-structured regimen is actually good for health. Therefore, when school starts, parents are advised to introduce a clear daily routine.

Determine what to do in the morning when getting ready for school, what order of homework, what entertainment awaits your child in the evening, how he will get ready for bed. You can make a sign with a schedule and fill it out together.

3. Prepare yourself and your home environment for school

Starting from the first week of school, parents will have to get up earlier - you also need to prepare mentally and physically for morning preparations.

Place a clock in prominent places in the house so that the child can keep track of the time, set a soft alarm. Plan pre-school breakfasts that are quick and nutritious. It is better to prepare clothes the night before and leave them in the same place each time.

4. Listen and share your experience

Research shows that acknowledging your child's feelings helps reduce stress at school. This means that it is better to try to exclude the expressions “don’t overthink” and the like from your vocabulary.

Especially in the first week of school, listen to your child, do not doubt the depth of his experiences. However, try to steer such conversations in a positive direction, be sure to talk about your experiences at school. Rejoice in small and big victories together.

5. Do not drag your child to school without understanding the reasons for refusing to study

Forcing to go to school without understanding and analyzing the reasons for refusing to study will eventually lead to systematic absenteeism. Here, too, it is better to show patience and even empathy, to figure out exactly why the child is resisting so much.

If a child does not want to stay without his parents for a long time, give him a symbolic object that will remind him of you. Something small that fits in a pencil case, that you can take out in class during periods of anxiety.

If tomorrow’s student thinks that school is scary and boring, arrange a holiday on the first of September. Buy a cake, balloons - create positive reinforcement.

Some problems can and should be solved at the school itself - talk to teachers, warn them about the child’s characteristics, ask for attention. It’s quite normal to try to establish contact with the teacher, this will only make your studies more effective.

As the school year begins, parents also experience stress. It is important to take care of yourself: set a time for rest, and do not be afraid to ask for help. Talk about what you are experiencing, for example, with friends who are raising schoolchildren or in specialized chats and forums. Don't forget about your needs - this will make helping your child get through the first days of school much easier.